When people think of marriage, most often
they think of a man and a woman who are similar in age and
who love each other dearly. But during the 1800’s, customs
and beliefs were very different involving a man and a woman’s
marriage. Women would marry men who were older and of a high
stature for many reasons in which we might not agree with
today. In the paragraphs below, you will learn at what
age people married, how they went about preparation, why people
married in the 1800s, some information about one couple who
followed this belief and much more.
Now, most females during this time were
considered women at a very early age. It was legal and common
for a woman to be married at as young as twelve years old!
This meant taking on a household and becoming a mother at
an age where girls today would still be in school and one
day striving for a career, while perhaps having a boyfriend
around their own age. Although the female would be young,
the male, would be years older, seventeen, eighteen years
old and was much more experienced and sometimes very wealthy.
A man who was in search for a wife would look for common
principles, such as women who could serve by maintaining a
home, living in the home, having a sexual relationship with
her husband, and by bringing up their children. Yet, many
changes in society have adjusted these roles in which couples
pursue, today many women work outside of the home. They have
occupations that are common between male and female, such
as being doctors or lawyers. Many men are also stay- at- home
dads, becoming a more involved parent in their child’s
life. There is no one occupation that you take on for your
whole life today, women as well as men have many options.
In order to prepare for a wedding, the
bride would need to choose where she would like to be married.
This was a very important custom and was taken very seriously.
Around the 1800’s, the women could choose the town in
which to be married in. Now, if she chose to marry somewhere
other than her own home village, she needed to get something
called a Ducal dispensation, a prayer of forgiveness from
a priest before the marriage ceremony was to take place. The
man or women could also choose the form of marriage in which
they believed in.
Now, polygamy was quite typical for a man in the 1800’s.
If he practiced this form of marriage, he would have more
than one wife at a time. The Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints
(or the Mormons) were encouraged to be polygamists. It was
a good way to reproduce so that their population would grow.
Today, this form of marriage would be considered wrong or
unjustly in most countries, including the United States.
There were certain principles that a couple during the 1800’s
would go by in order to have a successful marriage. It was
said that the husband had the obligation to support his wife,
while his wife had the duty to serve. This meant that the
man had the job of providing a safe home for his wife and
children, paying for the necessities such as food and clothing,
and of course by living in the house.
One of the biggest reasons why men would marry a woman much
younger than himself was simply so that she could reproduce
and carry a child for many years, while the man could also
reproduce at an older age for longer. This gave the couple
many children for the wife to care for at home, and at the
same time, wash clothes, prepare food, and everything else
that needed to be taken care of. The older boys could help
their father with the farming that needed to be done, along
with tending the animals, such as the cows, horses, and chickens.
The girls would help their mother take care of the little
ones and with the housework that was to be done.
The man who block C decided to research for the Adopt a Dead
Person Project, Washington V.B. Tilton, followed the same
idea as so many others in the 1800’s. Tilton married
his first wife, Susan Veasey in 1865. They had one child together,
a daughter named May and a son who died in infancy. Susan
died in 1867 of consumption, commonly known today as tuberculosis,
leaving Washington and May to live alone for over ten years.
Around 1880, Tilton remarried to a woman named Rosilla Styles
and in 1882, had a baby boy, Perley. Shortly after, Rosilla
died most likely as a result of complications from childbirth.
Washington married his third wife in 1883, Rosilla’s
younger sister, Annie Styles. Washington, being 51 at the
time of the marriage, was now becoming the husband of young
27 year old Annie, who had not been married before. That was
a 24-year age difference! Washington and Annie Tilton had
five children together during their marriage, Washington,
David, Olive, Nancy, and Gertrude, and stayed married until
Washington V.B. Tilton died on January 22, 1905 after suffering
from Senile Bronchitis at the age of 73.
As you now know, lifestyles and customs were very, very different
for the men and women during the 1800s, including their married
life. There are many things today that we would never dream
of doing, but over 200 years ago, these were considered normal.
Things such as marriage at a tender age, having many children,
and of course marrying someone years older than you, or many
years younger than you was normal for those times, but now
might be a little odd. It is interesting to compare our lives
to someone living in the 1800s, very different and unusual
for our time, but completely normal for those people who lived
during this period.
I hope you enjoyed this report and learned something, I know
I certainly did!
Bibliography For Dead Person Project
- Gary T. Horlacher, “Marriage”, West’s
Encyclopedia of American Law, cited 9 February, 2004
- Daniel Schlyter “The Surname of Children Born
Out of Wedlock” http.//www.romantictimes.com, cited
8 February, 2004
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